balikkkkk

petang. lepas kelas.dalam bilik.
i was busy with phone calls [to and from my mom], and
YM-ing in search for confirmation bias of my wishful thinking.

it's not like a true wishful thinking but rather, thinking of going back to KB on that very moment, thinking to take a bus that night, so that i can reach home by that morning.. aduhh.. for the weekend!

hehe. I want to spend my weekend at home..erk! can it be so? hurmm..
i looked around, i see all my housemates were asleep.. so surely i cannot asked them what they think the best for ME! haha. i always had this problem, i cannot decide for myself, not after gathering enough evident and information that satisfy both, my rational and emotional sides.

that day, emotional runs high but rationality tried to keep up and up!!

"ehh.. mane blh balik.. tak worth balik.. abis kan duit je.. da la tiket surcharge xturun2, lgpun balik wikend je wei. sampai pagi sabtu, ahad malam da nk gerak balik MLK"

hurm.. then a YM pop-up showed that my dear ex-rumate back in UIA online! waaahh.. yey! i can ask for her opinions then! [opinion ke?? i think its more to confirmation bias]
so she responded as the way i want her to..

"ko ni mcm tatau je kite. kalo da rs nk blk, blk je weii. xyah pk panjang"
"owh.. eh? kalo mcm tu, jap, aku g tgk tiket"

not long after that,

"Jun, akoo da dpt tiket, blk mlm ni. ko xblk ke??"
"akoo? takpe, akoo da OK lps ckp fon ngn my mum td"
"owh.ok. akoo siap dulu ye"

then, i called syazzy, hantarkan ke Melaka Central. from there, i took trans bus .. reach KB at 540am.

my mom and others from Matrix UIA Nilai Campus reached home at about 8am. huhu.. i managed to see those faces i left for about 2 weeks, rite on raya the 5th.. huhu

so much so, all my family members gathered at home, including my big bro, oni-chan, who lived in pasiag gudang leaving his wife at work. huhu ^-^ he went back home to help my sister, Anis, to move out from Matrix Campus after finishing 1 and 1/2 year there.

akoo suke..... all 10 of us got back together. altho for a short time :D
hurm.. the next day, we went to Hospital Jerteh. my mom was really... really concerned about his younger and only brother, who was diagnosed for cancer earlier this year. so i quickly finished my assignment and soon, after taking our breakfast, we all rush there.

seeing my uncle in that condition, make my heart sink into emotion. a month before, i saw him recovering.. and at that moment, he stayed in my house. for a month, i can hear him jokes around, promising this and that if he ever gets better, i still can see his smiles and hear his giggles and guffaws.

we really had a good time when he was in my house, altho he was on the bed, lying and sometimes sit straight... i love when he sees future better.. back then. i still remember his words of becoming better person if he is cured. you are the best! that's why you cant be better! you are the best!

i love your jokes, you brightened up our day altho u're fighting those cancerious demons!

when we got to the hospital, he was like living in his own world already. he lost lots of his hair. since wednesday [and that's was 4 days before], his drip hasnt been stopped due to dehydration. owh. my beloved ayohngoh.

and yesterday..the sad news reached me. he was at the edge of his life. and later that evening, he passed away. innalillahiwainnaillahiraji'un. alfatihah.

i was shocked cuz the image of a month before keep emerging in my mind. he said with strong will.. that he's going to walk again. he said.. he want to be better. he said... he'll do whatever it takes to get better. but, Allah's calls is greater. at least, he had fight for his life. at least, he had the will to changed for the better.

p/s: i hope everyone around learn from him. no matter how ugly this life for you, remember to strive for the best!

i remembered when he started from scratch of having his own rubber estate. it was when i first entered the matriculation college in Kuala Pilah. he is happy, living in a very neat mediocre life. altho he works as policeman, that doesnt stop him from indulging in his unique hobby, RUBBER TAPPING..

i consider this as a unique one because many did this job out of searching for money, not because they liked it. hurm.. then, after he found the trees near the area of his house in Johol, he tried consulting Chinese guys or any other tokey who do not know how to organised their estates. so, he started to tapped for them. after that, he managed to get to buy [i think] those estates. now, arwah owns his own workers who worked for him... for his hobby .. best kan?

my late uncle also is a very generous person. he doesnt know how to upset people. he was so kind to us and he loves and respects my mom and my dad soooo muchh.. i love him for the love he held to my family. i love you uncle.

i hope u'll be between orang2 yang beriman dan bertaqwa kpd ALLAH. semoga jasadmu di jauhi seksa kubur. sesungguhnya, kehadiran mu sungguh bermakna. semoga berjumpa di syurga nanti. InsyaALLAH.

p/s: smoga keluarganya tabah menghadapi kehilangan mu. dan belajar untuk menginsafi diri. kerana kita bukan hidup untuk selamanya. dan kerana kita hidup untuk Allah S.W.T.

ingatlah, dunia ini adalah tempat menanam dan menuai ibadah.sesungguhnya, hasilnya akan dihitung di akhirat kelak kerana akhiratlah dunia yg sebenar Allah janjikan untuk kita. semoga kita saling ingat mengingati.

"semoga arwah pakcikku dan kita semua tergolong dikalangan ahli syurga-Mu, Ya Allah". Amin.