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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I'am afraid of my dreams


2011 brings a kind of maturity to my perspectives. seems like turning 26 will bring so much of life-changing feelings, hopefully for the better. my dreams circle around worldly affairs, these actually making me sad and nervous for I believed I was a kind of religious, and I still am, I hope!

okay, lets get to business.

1. I want to design my own home

this dream is rather impossible, for now, since i am nowhere near to design any home, what more my own. although i am not good at designing, but i know i like bali style with modern touch and a little garden around the house especially at the front yard and the side yard of the kitchen... :D anyway, if i get this opportunity, i would be elated to share it with my family and friends.. insyaAllah

2. I want to have a child?

OMG. the feeling of having my own child arose just after i met Iqbal a.k.a Busu during the CNY holidays for 4 days. in fact, i had my sweetest picture carrying sleeping him while i'm asleep. cute!! ^__^. i dont know how to describe but the craving to have a child somewhat resorted in my very heart. i know i am still single and have not any good chance of meeting mr.right-for-me in the moment yet. i never feel like this and i'm crying over it. i sensed how much i want to climb on the relationship stages, but my destiny was not in the same boat, at least, yet. this makes me scared to death, since i am afraid to get a heartbreak if, ever, i lose hope. and i hope not. insyaAllah..

a baby ... :D

p/s: may be this happens because i am surrounded by pregnant ladies including my sis-in-law, Puan Miez Mimosa, Mrs.King a.k.a JoJo, Puan Merahjamboo and delivered-already-lady, Mrs. Reenem and baby naura!! ehehe

3. i want to meet my mr.right. ready!

honestly, i have never get myself in any serious relationship, personally because i dont want one. i believe there are stages for relationship, starting from acquaintance, friends, special friends, and spouse.. well, i have not find one yet.. i hope i will meet and get close with him this year, insyaAllah.. :D.. (although i am so damn afraid if i .... )

4. i want to further my studies..

really, i really want to do this but time and space did not really allow me to. i hope the Hadiah offered by the Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia in furthering studies will be available until 2013 because in the mean time, i will be able to complete my 3 years of working and scored at least 85% for Prestasi. So, i will be able to qualify myself to apply and work my self up to get that. insyaAllah... :D

and i hope i can share my dreams with my family especially my beloved parents, siblings, sisters-in-law and future spouse :D oh, i have a question to him; WHERE ARE YOU??