Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
in my opinion, however, we need to also pray for being made at ease over things happened in our lives. we shall always habituate reciting 3 ayah at the end of Surah AlBaqarah, which can be summarised as a prayer to ease down the trials given to us as well as asking for forgiveness if we ever forget Him through His trials.
He, the ustaz, said that once, The Beloved Prophet Muhammad wanted to ask a lady for marriage. then, he was told that the lady was a very good lady and never had a sickness in her entire life. hearing that, The Beloved Prophet quits his intention. i want to highlight here, the important of being sick and in trouble. Allah is testing our love and patience, and being under His limelight, we are of good souls. we try to keep on surviving and keep on praying without fail. we increased our loves.
okay now, let's look at ones who doesnt have that sickness thingy. we kind of forget everything. we enjoyed ourselves to death. we eat, drink, sleep, and having fun. it is showed and portrayed in Syurga Cinta, in so many other movies. we can see the sinful acts we could be doing, if we were never tasted by Allah. so, be grateful of your condition of life, we might be from middle-class society, or perhaps, considered-poor community, but believe me, this world is going to end someday. DUNIA FANA. fana means tidak kekal, be grateful and try to increase your love towards Allah by praying at the beginning of time 5 times a day, pray in groups, pray in masjid and preferably, live in religion because Islam is the way of life. Do not separate what is should not.
as for month Ramadhan is coming, celebrate it and use it wisely. the world is dying and so do us. we may not see the next Ramadhan. so, fully utilise it.
hope this served as reminder for you and me. Allah Hafiz. remember; ALLAH always remembers you. He always loves you. so love him back. =)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
and there comes in Mr.Em - a friend indeed! he's there for my ups and downs. although sometimes he disappeared under the radar, he is still there for me. when my girl friends ditched me nowhere, he's there to back me up. when i was all alone, he's there to entertain me. when i needed some help, he's there to lend me his hand.
but now, after he broke ups with his girlfriend, he kind of deserted our friendship. he seems tired of me and my problems. (hey, I did share with him lots and lots of happy moments alright). I even went to his girlfriend's house and have dinner and what's not there. she is so carefree and flexible. It's just sad and pretty much hurting that their 3 or 4 or may be 5 years old relationship ended before any tie.
hurm, talking about my best guy friend, Mr. Em never exhausted of willingness to help. He now seems to change his course. He did not seem to even care about me no more. for years, we've been out and about every so often. Last year, my girls and I went for a movie. so i invited him to join us. he came and it was so cool of him since we're all 10 girls. haha. IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY. that's how I celebrated it. hehe
and when I was ill, he came to the MALACCA Hospital. and also I went to MITC and I had a gastric attack. He came out of nowhere when i called him, like a superman did, and send me to a clinic. and also when we, MRs.King and I needed a ride to and from KB-MLK, he's ready to lend a seat in his yellow car. huuu.. it's a long ride and usually we stop by at his gf's house in Cheras. and there's one time when only me asked for his ride, i slept all the way from KB to MLK. i still remembered when we reached Kuala Krai at 5pm and he had to stop there to repair his car's alignments. and about 8pm, we ate Laksam i brought from home en route to Gua Musang. i still remember, at 10 i started to sleep and arrived Putrajaya at 12 midnight. i still asleep when he stopped by at his sister's. He knocked on the mirror, i opened the door, and continued to sleep until we reached Malacca (Jasin to be specific), at about 2am. He sent me to Aireen's, where Aireen and Alyaa were there waiting for me. owhh... i miss them sooo much!!
and also my birthday last year, after Alyaa and hubby brought me tour around Malacca Night Town (Bandar Hilir including a Taming Sari ride and Boat Tour), Mr. Em came to my Jasin's house to bring Alyaa and me to eat Asam Pedas near Hang Li Po Well at Bukit China.
and the memories went on and on..
huuu... our friendship will not shatter. although it would be tough, i will hold on tight. thanks for the memories. Hope we all will be under His Barakah and Guidance..
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Both these movies I watched with my girls, Jannah and Reena. It was like the moment I shall treasured most since my last movie watching last year. Memang tak sangka, even dah keje pun, kami masih lepak dan tinggal bersama. TESL rock!
Actually, I’ve watched The Proposal before, alone. And I did think that it was a pretty much Cinderella story which I quickly got up to reality, but for this time around, watching it again with my girls, it seems like a dream that I truly wish for it to come true. How stupid it may sound but the effect it got on me … huh! And Fuhh! Is speechless.
The hero, oh wow, thousands wishes wouldn’t be enough to wish for him. The character, the looks, the personality, the family and the love and passion.. they’re all perfecto! Too perfect I figured. But the quality for mr.right is so much about him. He is very committed to what he believes that makes him happy, he’s handsome and very good looking, he’s very humble and somewhat strong and dominant. His family is awesome! The family is wealthy but they do not act as one, and obviously supportive and understanding as well as welcoming. And about the love, I’m sorry, I cannot describe love because I never feel it. I do not know love.
For me, love is everything.. and about everything. I simply cannot put it into words. It pure and unique and it has ups and downs. Sometimes, we have to love again and again without fail with our spouse. We have to cherish each other everyday which we practically forget to do when we are already married. We forget to admire each other since we are comfortable of having him/her in our lives. We forgot to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’ every now and then because we are shy. But not before marriage! Before marriage, you feel that you want to show the world that you and him/her are in love. You’re proud lover. And after marriage, it all seems to be diminishing. Hurm, well, I may not know much, but this is what I saw…
Friday, July 2, 2010
and the poyoest couple on my brother's wedding chairs is Jojo and her hubby, happily married started on 10th June 2010.. both couples shared the gap of 3 days of the days they were married. i was one of the important figure on their days...huhu
and i kept asking.. when will i had the day too? i had nobody in my life. i had never in love. it saddened me some more when i heard a famous English saying said, "It is better to love and separated than not to love at all"...
ohh.. how i hope that saying is incorrect for me!.. please help me. help my confirmation bias! i mean, psychologically speaking, i'm asking people out there to disagree with the saying. it soothes me and do me good, for sure.
haha, seems to be out of control. sorry bro, for this time around, your sister's sanity to write is at the edge of being rocked. anyhow, you married one of my best friends. now i know, you made a right choice. she loves you dearly.. and i am proud of you too.
and for Mrs. Jojo who is now turning to be addressed as Mrs.King, i love you dearly. dont sweet escape me.. i'm afraid of drowning alone.. hopefully, be not drown but floated in love, trios of us. ehehe.. stu_comot, me and Mrs.King..
p/s: i will post a decent entry next time. now i'm having a numb nose due to thousands of bersin and i have a really sore-throat which makes me unable to even smile.. nor speak with joy!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
my life was rather complicated. my dreams could not yet be achieved; taking up master course, get married and be happy!
working life is so much different when i was studying. it turn me around like cream in food processor. and being 25 and single doesnt do me good. i dont have that enough strength to face and even avoid all my friends' sort of happiness. i am happy for them but when i reflected on me, i was afraid of dying alone. i dont want to be someone who stay alone for the rest of my life. believe me, turning 25 struck me hard in the face.
with all the questions and assumptions of me having nobody yet bothered me so much. the black thing grew inside of me, making me so damn sensitive to even a little remark about my crediblity would break me hard. my heart collapse, splashing into tiny drops of black glass. i was easily moved and tears would stream down like waterfall on my cheeks.
my self worth and self-esteem were like cracked eggs. it bleed not blood and it stink! in my heart.
i am always thinking of being envy for someelse's good being. ahh.. it would be so good to be able to go overseas, to UK, and all sorts of places with beautiful pictures, travel around, go to Mekah, with their family and love ones.
i'm jealous indeed, ... am i not thankful? i have great life, great family and friends, great job, and i'm still not happy..
i'm searching for the he who would bring my eternal love from God. where is he?
please, where are you?
thinking of these.. all these.. makes me feel like running away, leaving everything, release my soul and die alone.
Noooooo!! it wont solve the problem, but i want a way out. i'm stuck in me, i hate when i felt the jealousy.. i want to be happy.. and accept that everybody has their own lifepath and fortune..
heart... heart... hurt.. a lot..
cure me, save me.. love me.. dearly..
Monday, May 10, 2010
my youngest brother
his story should be written in Malay, so allow me.
"Akak, cuba teka, apakah contoh haiwan nocturnal?"..
" wor, advanced budak-budak sekarang punya vocabulary. aku tahu perkataan tu pun dalam 4 tahun lepas".. kata aku dalam hati.
"hurm, apa ek? Ahmad tahu?" ujar aku.
"in english we called...bat. B.A.T, bat!." sambung aku
"amad, nocturnal tu gapo?" tanya ili (kakak ahmad darjah 5)
"nocturnal ni haiwan yang hidup pada malam hari dan tidur pada siang hari"..jawab ahmad dengan naive-nya
"haaa.. sama la ngan ramai budak-budak muda sekarang, nocturnal. hidup malam, tidur siang" tambah aku. "mu'allimah ajar ke ahmad? (Ahmad bersekolah SRI - SEK.REN.ISLAM)
"tak lah. amad tengok dalam 'My Friends, Tigger and Pooh'."
terkejut aku yang tengah drive tu. adoyaii.. tengok tv daaa..
haa, tengok, tv pun bagus sbenarnya, bukan saja improve children ability to use language properly, but also gain some input. and this is awesome!
memang la Amad jarang sangat tengok in English, but the Bahasa Melayu is okay too. somehow, it gives Ahmad the desire to write, and he has his own book of simple essay in Malay language.
owh. it's time now for my class. i'll update later.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
iye. Sports Day at SK Laloh, Kuala Krai, Kelantan was held on 3rd March 2010. there are 4 Rumah Sukan competed. Miss Niya and I were assigned to represent the Blue Team called Laksamana... some of the people called our team as Laksa mana? (where is the Laksa?).. whatever they called us, we, the blue team won the Rumah Terbaik (The Best House Awards)..
it was a great experience, building the House with the pupils and also the other House Teachers especially Cikgu Azman Syah and also Ustaz Raimi. Miss Niya was so creative in designing the House and me, contributed to executed the plan we discussed and brainstormed earlier that week.
on the evening a day before the event's day, I went to the site where we should actually build our Blue House. for the disgrace of a Blue teammate, i could see nothing, even the pupils keep asking me where is the Blue house. empty. the assigned carpark was empty.
answering to the pupils questions, after surveying other team's Houses, I confidently said, " I'm going to do some magic, tomorrow, you will see our House."
the pupil replied, " You dont do magic", "You cant do it"... and I said, " You just dont know what I'm capable of".. hahaha.. so much of magic.
after that I went home and on the way back, I saw the pupil keep telling others that I am going to do magic. hahaha..
and the magic works. I used my car to brighten the night, we were up until near midnight. Some marching team pupils come and lend a hand. it was a night to remember. all the noise and also the merry pupils playing while working, it was so much fun and memorable experience.
these are some of the pictures taken on the day. I'll write the second part later. :D
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Sedang aku melalui laluan sempit itu, aku terlihat petak-petak garis yang bersegi empat tepat, dicucuk kayu kuning merah sebagai penanda. Terus aku teringatkan benda yang sama di kawasan perkuburan di depan Bukit China di Melaka. cuma bezanya, di sana, kayu penanda dan benang putih digunakan.
Aku : weh, anis. aku nak pilih yang bawah pokok wei, nampak cam sejuk je kawasan Telipot ni. tapi tak tahu nak kaler mende, kuning ke merah? dua-dua aku suka..
Anis : pilih? weh sedara mara semo tanam kat Tumpat la.
Aku : taknak ah kubur kat Tumpat, panas. direct sunlight. sini ada pokok besar.
Anis: mung gilo! sama je kubur mana-mana. gilo! %@^%*@&Q^#WQ*^
Aku: ahahahaha. ye la weh. mase aku g Sibu last week, abg wan tu pusing 3 ke 4 kali dekat kedai coffin orang cina and christian. dia cakap, those coffins tu ada yang cost up to RM3k. and ada yang well-equiped with battery wired air conditioner.. sejuk and cool tuu.. yela.. nak queue nek atas langit, takut body panas duk tdo dalam coffin tu kan.. tp paling lama boleh tahan 2 hari. may be nak suh body adjust to the comfy yet narrow room tu kot. lepas 2 hari, pandai-pandai la nak mati.. :P
Selang 3 minggu, dalam perjalanan balik dari Pantai Geting sebelah Pantai Sri Tujoh, Tumpat.
(Jangan tertipu, ni gambar hiasan. tapi kawasan perkuburan yang kat Geting tu hebat sangat, di lereng bukit kecil, bersebelahan tasik dan diseberang jalan, terus ada ombak menghempas pantai..)
Aku : Weh lok Mok, acu kelih kawasan sini ni, comey laa.. berangin molek. doh la dekat gilo nge pantai. pado kat Tumpat tu, panah ceng ceng.
Mok : sedak nih sinih. berangin, jolo doh. pah bakpo?
Aku : Ore nok kubur sini ah. comey, sejuk, berangin, pah boleh dengar ombak menghempas pantai. nampak tenang jahh..
Mok: ho la deh. mugo nati puah-puah (bosan) boleh lepak kat pantai deh?
Aku : ahahahaha. betul. best tuuu..
entah apa la yang dalam kepala otak aku ni.
apa-apa pun, semua nya terletak pada amal kita. banyakkan bertaubat dan berastaghfirullah. kalo kita ikhlas beramal dan elak kemungkaran, nescaya Alquran berupa bidadari/a yang bercahaya akan menemani kita yang seorang diri dalam tanah tu nanti sesampainya Hari Kebangkitan. Sesungguhnya, ingatlah.. mati itu pasti.
live your life wisely, and time wait for no man. kun fayakun.. tetapkan hati kepadaNya.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
For two days straight I went home from school later than any other teacher, well, not that late compare to those who are in the working world, at 3 to 4 p.m. and for two days straight the teachers’ sons and daughters were running here and there in the staff room, making it uncontrolled and very hectic. The previous day, they were calmed by a teacher, who loves to tease and tell stories to them. They were very eager and very good listeners. And, for the two days straight, I gave them the chance to watch movies from my small new laptop, well it’s a Dell and it’s my dad’s. =) they love to watch G-Force! And so do I. Then, I can do my work in peace.
I managed to capture some pictures with them, I did teach them during school hour. However, when it reaches the time (the bell rings), they and I change our roles, they are just children who love to laugh and me, an in-between adult, who love to work and watch movies including children’s. ahaha. I love kids, but with them, I too, demand respect. They can tease and play with me, but I draw a line, gap or whatever you call it, that some time drawbacks them from me. I want them to get near me, but somehow it seems I do not want to.
Whatever it is, let’s see those pictures of yesterday’s!
Look! there's an angel!.. probably cupid? hahaha
this is how I feel when I lose my temper with my Year 2!
and how i wish to disguise myself and go to Paris! ahaha
Aahahahahha. From those pictures you can see, today is a hectic day for me. As I am the teacher in-charge for this week, together with a male teacher, the cases keep growing from one to another. The very first morning, a mother came to the staff room, reporting her son had been bullied for 3 days straight. Searching for the root of the problem, Mr. Azman Syah and I brought the kid to his so-called bully. Investigation was done by Mr. Azman but from the rumors around I can sense, the ‘bully’ is not really a bully. He is a Year 6 pupil and the kid is from Year 1 who shares the same floor as the Year 6. The kid is a really naughty kid whom all teacher had been complaining about, and no doubt, the Year 6, playing the role of a big senior, asked him to get back to his class. He ran away and fall. I don’t sense any bully problem here. moreover, the kid used to step onto all the tables in his own class and drives his teachers crazy. Hahaha. He is sooooo adorable but yet a really troublemaker.
And then, a nextdoor teacher came to see me, saying that my pupils (I am a class teacher), had torn the books of her pupils while they’re gone. Year 5 pupils with such demeanour, urghhh, it really pissed me off and after I questioned them, the one who’s responsible is actually absent. Hurm.. what should I do about this?
And my year 2 pupils were so hyperactive, 38 head of mixed ability and attention vision/sight. I tried to attract them but their hyperactivity obstructed my lesson, I can only say only 60% of my objectives were achieved. 2 more weeks to exam! Argghh how I hate the washback effects! (google for more information about this).
And now I’m finding my mood to finish up my lesson plan as the PPD and Nazir persons are going to observe us, the teachers, teaching. Just now, they came and went back, without observing any of us. Alhamdulillah.
Oh, I gotta continue my work, see ya!.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
this is the second week of schooling. i dont feel any tension in this school, but somehow i feel that i am suffering a depression. everyday i must take paracetamol and everyday i felt sick. and sicker towards the end of the day. and then i caught asthma. somehow it choked me while i'm sleeping.
and it was yesterday, the last pair of paracetamol left for me. i remember i quickly run my fingers on the numbers and dialled my mom's. and she didnt pick up her phone. i was thinking to ask her of whether she spoke of me or so, and i was back at my bed, trying to sleep. i need to get some rest.
Before that moment of choking, about 1 hour before, my sister called when i was about to hit the bed from school. i remember talking to her saying, ''i was not myself, that i am so tired i really need a rest and i will call her later''.
and then the choking.
I went to bed that night around 1030 p.m after watching 'So you think you can dance" which I dont think so and the nighmare began.
this particular nightmare consists of vampires; things that i LOVE to see in movies ONLY, and the fact that they entered my dream scared me off!.. and when they are about to attack me and my family, the vampire called MALIKA (is it the name in Cucu Betong?) attacked them first, and we're saved.
It was a 300 movie setting where they only uses arrows to attack and conquer. I vividly remember when my family members were surrendering when they blurted off their arrows. they hit us and some of us are dead. I even said to my parents that I love them the most and we shall meet in heaven. and there i was, holding my youngest brother, who is a little younger than he is now. He is a mere corpe, his neck and air flows had been attacked severely. I held his body. and then, when we were asked to read the verses of bible and what not, my brother read out loud the Quranic verses. they were mad at him but I quickly asked my brother to read in his heart. then, they were being good with us, some of them said to me to bring my baby brother who is still alive, well, merely, to the hospital which is quite far. They asked me to say that he sprained his neck whatsoever.
and then I saw, my uncle who actually planned all this. He had said that it is dangerous for us, the family members to come here (somewhere on the way to some place)... but we insisted on going before the tragedy of attack happens. He betrayed all of us. He couldn't even do anything. He only said he warned us.
and then i woke up, it was 430 in the morning. and i tried to sleep again, to find the peace to the nightmare..i felt the sad air of leaving. and i still remember, 1 of my family members asked when I say, "it's okay, we shall met in heaven. have faith in God", he said " but you're not married yet?!" .. isk, that is not even a question at the moment of that kinda death... it's a war!
my answer? i said, it's okay. i'll get married in Heaven. insyaAllah. :D
well, it's my nightmare.
and i have to conclude, i'm suffering a depression and affected my eating habit. hurm, i know i'm stress over monetary problem, but at least 2 problems were solved. first is the Bank Islam Cheque Deposit thing and the other is about my PC motherboard. alhamdulillah.
now, i mean today, i must gather up power and spirit particles of my loss hope so that i can happily end this week. :D
Ya Allah.. permudahkanlah untuk ku, kedua ibubapaku, ahli keluargaku, guru-guruku, sahabat2ku, dan kaum muslimin dan muslimat yang bertaqwa kepadaMu. Lindungilah kami dari kejahatan diri kami sendiri dan musuh2 kami, mala petaka yang tidak diingini, azab kuburMu dan azab nerakaMu, ya Allah.
Selamatkanlah kami dari ganggungan Jin dan Syaitan dari luar dan dalam.. amin..
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Honourable Dato’ Saifuddin Abdullah, Deputy Minister, Ministry of Higher Education
And Honourable Datin Norlin Shamsul Bahri,
Honourable Prof. Dato’ Sri Dr. Syed Arabi Idid,
Rector of International Islamic University Malaysia
Honourable Prof. Dato’ Dr. Md Tahir Azhar,
Chairman of IIUM 25th Convocation
Honourable IIUM Majlis Members and Board of Governers,
IIUM Senate Members
Representatives of Institute of Higher Learning
Honourable Guests and Companies Representatives,
Staff and Graduands of 25th International Islamic University Malaysia Convocation
Members of Media / Ladies and Gentleman
Assalamu Alaykum wrt. wbk.
Selamat Datang, Ahlan wa Sahlan, Welcome to IIUM's 25th Convocation.
It is a pleasure for me to be here today, a day that does not mark the end, but rather the beginning - a commencement of another chapter in our lives. Fellow graduates, we shared the same memories of running down the hallways, the chaos of registration, late nights studying and rushing to classes. At this point, let us ponder upon how much this university has changed our lives.
Distinguished guests and Fellow graduates,
This year’s convocation theme, “The dynamic role of IIUM graduates in realizing IIUM’s vision and mission in facing global challenges”, made me think and ask myself, to what extent have we changed and improved our lives? And to what extent has this university helped us to incorporate the Islamic values in our lives; values to live by, and values to help us face the global challenges.
My answer to my first question, my dear friends, is that we should always be ready to learn and adapt ourselves to new challenges. And for my second question, my fellow friends, is that the university has succeeded in its vision to become a leading international centre of education which produces not only all rounder graduates, but also khalifahs of Allah who have sound Islamic values. Alhamdulillah, I believe that all of us have gone through some memorable experiences and life-lessons that have molded and groomed us to be the all rounder and capable graduates that we are today.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Some of us have already entered the working world and work as accountants, nurses or teachers. And for us who graduated from the Institute of Education, were posted to rural schools all over Malaysia including Sabah and Sarawak to become the disseminators of knowledge. I am proud to say that, we are all the IIUM’s ambassadors. I hope we can utilize our knowledge learnt in IIUM for the betterment of the ummah; the hectic lives and the risks ahead will not become the hurdles to achieve a great life.
I would like to thank the Bahagian Pendidikan Guru, Institut Perguruan Perempuan Melayu Melaka, and the Institute of Education, IIUM for giving me and my fellow friends the opportunity to undergo the TESL Twinning programme. The few years in this university brought about everything we wanted in life. We learnt so much and craved for more. It was great to know and make friends with people from all walks of life and we enjoyed every program held. We missed dearly the lectures and interaction with the staff of this university. Our experience in IIUM brought out the best in us. We are the proud graduates of IIUM.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
In this dignified hall, there are two special people to whom I owe my thanks and gratitude. If it were not for them, I probably would not be here giving this speech. The two are my parents. Encik Mohamad Yusoff Mat and Puan Maznah Ibrahim. They are the ones who insisted that I join this university. I was very reluctant to become a teacher, but they were very sure and confident that I can become a good teacher and contribute to society by teaching. And now, I’m glad that I listened to their advice.
My father, Encik Mohamad Yusoff, who quit school early, once studied by himself by borrowing books from friends, and with only that, he managed to obtain good grades for the SPM. He proved to me that, learning never stops and age is not a barrier to education. Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave. I will always admire his motivation and conviction.
My mother, Puan Maznah, provided me with tenderness and love. She taught me about sincerity. Her life experiences had also taught me about the hardships, and that the world can sometimes be cruel. She always motivates me to be stronger and to never give up. She has always said that Allah knows what is best for us. So, never ever give up hope.
We also should not forget to thank our amazing lecturers; all of whom have worked so hard to help us become top-notch students. They have helped us during our ups and downs in these few years of studying. Thank you for your time and effort in nurturing us and in giving us the best education.
Finally, we must not forget our fellow friends who have accompanied us all these years; those who would wait for us in times of desperation and those who would be there for us when we needed support. We will miss their laughter and their silly jokes. Thank you friends for being the marvelous comrades during those years. And thank you all … for making IIUM a truly unique university.
Fellow graduates, I conclude my speech with a pantun in Bahasa Melayu,
Menuntut ilmu tidak berakhiran,
Sama-samalah kita berilmu pengetahuan,
Semoga berjaya wahai graduan.