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Friday, April 24, 2009

guruku tersayang..terima kasihku..

hari ni aku down gile. penat otak. sebab tadi supervisor observed aku. and aku tak perform. arghh.

eventhough she said dont take it to heart, there's still room for improvement bla bla. and me, chilling out on the surface said "it's okay madam. i'm learning. if no one positively critics me, how can i improved". hebat bukan? iye. my rational mind speaks out clearly at that time. but i was enticed to follow my heart. to scream out loud and release all the tension.

but i can only let my tears went down my cheeks when she left. but not in front of others to see how fragile i am. i'm not mad at the lower marks, i am mad at myself, for not able to give clear instruction, provide meaningful lesson as in correct grammar teaching. hellooooo! i'm an English teacher and i did not master English Grammar. come on la nisa. get a life!

tu lah prasaan aku le aku marah kat diri sendiri. aku kalo marah kat orang, aku blh rationalise balik and try to avoid them including NOT talking or seeing them so that i dont live in hatred, tapi bila aku marah kat diri sendiri (selalu gtu), cane aku nk buat? cane nk lari dari diri sendiri? cane taknak pikir pasal diri sendiri? hurm...

thanks farah yayum, arjun and ksya for your soothing talks and efforts.. it helps me a lot. ^-^
although i believe in my own concept of reverse motivation (will do better next time only if i'm better than others, not lower and if scored lower, i'll discard the effort and forget about giving any), i try my best to regain my SELF-RESPECT.

anyhow, credit to kaksya who showed me a song OST in laskar pelangi on appreciation to teachers from students. the songs really showed naivity and sincere. with that song, i remembered my students' faces who were satisfied in every lesson and happy and eager to learn from me .... in every following class i had with them. they came to me excitedly, asking what to learn next.

Regardless of my lecturer saying stuff for improvement (which i reckon needed for my own sake and will do something about it), the welcoming faces of my sweet little children will motivate me to create an interesting yet meaningful lesson in each period.

so, lets enjoy the song. hope your get the idea im seeing and saying. and dont forget to say something for me to go on in my teaching. i really2 need that. hope u guys can give me some pushing motivation. ^-^

Guruku Tersayang

pagiku cerahku,matahari bersinar
kugendong tas merah ku di pundak
slamat pagi smua ku natikan dirimu
didepan kls mu menantikan kami

guruku tersayang guruku tercinta
tanpamu apa jadiny aku
tak bisa baca tulis mengerti banyak hal
guruku terima kasih ku

nyatanya diriku kadang buat mu marah
namun segala maav kau berikan

slamat pagi smua ku natikan dirimu
didepan kls mu menantikan kami

guruku tersayang guruku tercinta
tanpamu apa jadiny aku
tak bisa baca tulis mengerti banyak hal
guruku terima kasih ku

nyata diriku kadang buat mu marah
namun sgala maav kau berikan

guruku tersayang guruku tercinta
tanpamu apa jadiny aku
tak bisa baca tulis mengerti banyak hal
guruku terima kasih ku

3 comments:

stu_comot said...

caca-channnnnnnnnn..tamo tedey2 k..wendu kamu juge..its ok..owg pun dpt rendah je kna observe aritu..tp leh wat rilek je..u still got time to improve..go2 caiyok!! do ur best. ill pray for u na..

SpEkmATaKu said...

indah relax la.. i noe how u feel..ku pn kena komen byk gak ngn guru pembimbing..xkisah die komen jus tersedih sbb ku let down soo many people..she, dr annisa n my stu huhu...ku phm indah..mu kuat i noe it..btw bes kn lagu tue kn..mmg pembakar smgt la kn..

darimatairis said...

indah...aku pun kene komen gak..huu..negative jek tapi aku wat donno la...bukan donno donno terus. aku amik jugak wat pedoman cume tak letak all those things deep inside my heart. taknak rase down senornye. so indah..be strong gurl n we can do it better. insyallah