mati itu pasti.. kubur macamane?

Sedang aku melalui laluan sempit itu, aku terlihat petak-petak garis yang bersegi empat tepat, dicucuk kayu kuning merah sebagai penanda. Terus aku teringatkan benda yang sama di kawasan perkuburan di depan Bukit China di Melaka. cuma bezanya, di sana, kayu penanda dan benang putih digunakan.

Aku : weh, anis. aku nak pilih yang bawah pokok wei, nampak cam sejuk je kawasan Telipot ni. tapi tak tahu nak kaler mende, kuning ke merah? dua-dua aku suka..

Anis : pilih? weh sedara mara semo tanam kat Tumpat la.

Aku : taknak ah kubur kat Tumpat, panas. direct sunlight. sini ada pokok besar.

Anis: mung gilo! sama je kubur mana-mana. gilo! %@^%*@&Q^#WQ*^

Aku: ahahahaha. ye la weh. mase aku g Sibu last week, abg wan tu pusing 3 ke 4 kali dekat kedai coffin orang cina and christian. dia cakap, those coffins tu ada yang cost up to RM3k. and ada yang well-equiped with battery wired air conditioner.. sejuk and cool tuu.. yela.. nak queue nek atas langit, takut body panas duk tdo dalam coffin tu kan.. tp paling lama boleh tahan 2 hari. may be nak suh body adjust to the comfy yet narrow room tu kot. lepas 2 hari, pandai-pandai la nak mati.. :P

Anis: mengom!

Selang 3 minggu, dalam perjalanan balik dari Pantai Geting sebelah Pantai Sri Tujoh, Tumpat.



(Jangan tertipu, ni gambar hiasan. tapi kawasan perkuburan yang kat Geting tu hebat sangat, di lereng bukit kecil, bersebelahan tasik dan diseberang jalan, terus ada ombak menghempas pantai..)

Aku : Weh lok Mok, acu kelih kawasan sini ni, comey laa.. berangin molek. doh la dekat gilo nge pantai. pado kat Tumpat tu, panah ceng ceng.

Mok : sedak nih sinih. berangin, jolo doh. pah bakpo?

Aku : Ore nok kubur sini ah. comey, sejuk, berangin, pah boleh dengar ombak menghempas pantai. nampak tenang jahh..

Mok: ho la deh. mugo nati puah-puah (bosan) boleh lepak kat pantai deh?

Aku : ahahahaha. betul. best tuuu..

entah apa la yang dalam kepala otak aku ni.

apa-apa pun, semua nya terletak pada amal kita. banyakkan bertaubat dan berastaghfirullah. kalo kita ikhlas beramal dan elak kemungkaran, nescaya Alquran berupa bidadari/a yang bercahaya akan menemani kita yang seorang diri dalam tanah tu nanti sesampainya Hari Kebangkitan. Sesungguhnya, ingatlah.. mati itu pasti.

live your life wisely, and time wait for no man. kun fayakun.. tetapkan hati kepadaNya.

Pictures tell it all ~

I was fasting yesterday. The reason I try myself to fast is to test my gastric problems and to adjust my diet.

For two days straight I went home from school later than any other teacher, well, not that late compare to those who are in the working world, at 3 to 4 p.m. and for two days straight the teachers’ sons and daughters were running here and there in the staff room, making it uncontrolled and very hectic. The previous day, they were calmed by a teacher, who loves to tease and tell stories to them. They were very eager and very good listeners. And, for the two days straight, I gave them the chance to watch movies from my small new laptop, well it’s a Dell and it’s my dad’s. =) they love to watch G-Force! And so do I. Then, I can do my work in peace.

I managed to capture some pictures with them, I did teach them during school hour. However, when it reaches the time (the bell rings), they and I change our roles, they are just children who love to laugh and me, an in-between adult, who love to work and watch movies including children’s. ahaha. I love kids, but with them, I too, demand respect. They can tease and play with me, but I draw a line, gap or whatever you call it, that some time drawbacks them from me. I want them to get near me, but somehow it seems I do not want to.

Whatever it is, let’s see those pictures of yesterday’s!

And today’s!

Look! there's an angel!.. probably cupid? hahaha

this is how I feel when I lose my temper with my Year 2!

and how i wish to disguise myself and go to Paris! ahaha

Aahahahahha. From those pictures you can see, today is a hectic day for me. As I am the teacher in-charge for this week, together with a male teacher, the cases keep growing from one to another. The very first morning, a mother came to the staff room, reporting her son had been bullied for 3 days straight. Searching for the root of the problem, Mr. Azman Syah and I brought the kid to his so-called bully. Investigation was done by Mr. Azman but from the rumors around I can sense, the ‘bully’ is not really a bully. He is a Year 6 pupil and the kid is from Year 1 who shares the same floor as the Year 6. The kid is a really naughty kid whom all teacher had been complaining about, and no doubt, the Year 6, playing the role of a big senior, asked him to get back to his class. He ran away and fall. I don’t sense any bully problem here. moreover, the kid used to step onto all the tables in his own class and drives his teachers crazy. Hahaha. He is sooooo adorable but yet a really troublemaker.

And then, a nextdoor teacher came to see me, saying that my pupils (I am a class teacher), had torn the books of her pupils while they’re gone. Year 5 pupils with such demeanour, urghhh, it really pissed me off and after I questioned them, the one who’s responsible is actually absent. Hurm.. what should I do about this?

And my year 2 pupils were so hyperactive, 38 head of mixed ability and attention vision/sight. I tried to attract them but their hyperactivity obstructed my lesson, I can only say only 60% of my objectives were achieved. 2 more weeks to exam! Argghh how I hate the washback effects! (google for more information about this).

And now I’m finding my mood to finish up my lesson plan as the PPD and Nazir persons are going to observe us, the teachers, teaching. Just now, they came and went back, without observing any of us. Alhamdulillah.

Oh, I gotta continue my work, see ya!.

depression.. memakan diri

** update pantas yang mengarut

this is the second week of schooling. i dont feel any tension in this school, but somehow i feel that i am suffering a depression. everyday i must take paracetamol and everyday i felt sick. and sicker towards the end of the day. and then i caught asthma. somehow it choked me while i'm sleeping.

and it was yesterday, the last pair of paracetamol left for me. i remember i quickly run my fingers on the numbers and dialled my mom's. and she didnt pick up her phone. i was thinking to ask her of whether she spoke of me or so, and i was back at my bed, trying to sleep. i need to get some rest.

Before that moment of choking, about 1 hour before, my sister called when i was about to hit the bed from school. i remember talking to her saying, ''i was not myself, that i am so tired i really need a rest and i will call her later''.

and then the choking.

I went to bed that night around 1030 p.m after watching 'So you think you can dance" which I dont think so and the nighmare began.

this particular nightmare consists of vampires; things that i LOVE to see in movies ONLY, and the fact that they entered my dream scared me off!.. and when they are about to attack me and my family, the vampire called MALIKA (is it the name in Cucu Betong?) attacked them first, and we're saved.

It was a 300 movie setting where they only uses arrows to attack and conquer. I vividly remember when my family members were surrendering when they blurted off their arrows. they hit us and some of us are dead. I even said to my parents that I love them the most and we shall meet in heaven. and there i was, holding my youngest brother, who is a little younger than he is now. He is a mere corpe, his neck and air flows had been attacked severely. I held his body. and then, when we were asked to read the verses of bible and what not, my brother read out loud the Quranic verses. they were mad at him but I quickly asked my brother to read in his heart. then, they were being good with us, some of them said to me to bring my baby brother who is still alive, well, merely, to the hospital which is quite far. They asked me to say that he sprained his neck whatsoever.

and then I saw, my uncle who actually planned all this. He had said that it is dangerous for us, the family members to come here (somewhere on the way to some place)... but we insisted on going before the tragedy of attack happens. He betrayed all of us. He couldn't even do anything. He only said he warned us.

and then i woke up, it was 430 in the morning. and i tried to sleep again, to find the peace to the nightmare..i felt the sad air of leaving. and i still remember, 1 of my family members asked when I say, "it's okay, we shall met in heaven. have faith in God", he said " but you're not married yet?!" .. isk, that is not even a question at the moment of that kinda death... it's a war!
my answer? i said, it's okay. i'll get married in Heaven. insyaAllah. :D

well, it's my nightmare.
and i have to conclude, i'm suffering a depression and affected my eating habit. hurm, i know i'm stress over monetary problem, but at least 2 problems were solved. first is the Bank Islam Cheque Deposit thing and the other is about my PC motherboard. alhamdulillah.

now, i mean today, i must gather up power and spirit particles of my loss hope so that i can happily end this week. :D

Ya Allah.. permudahkanlah untuk ku, kedua ibubapaku, ahli keluargaku, guru-guruku, sahabat2ku, dan kaum muslimin dan muslimat yang bertaqwa kepadaMu. Lindungilah kami dari kejahatan diri kami sendiri dan musuh2 kami, mala petaka yang tidak diingini, azab kuburMu dan azab nerakaMu, ya Allah.
Selamatkanlah kami dari ganggungan Jin dan Syaitan dari luar dan dalam.. amin..

My Valedictory Speech, IIUM 25th Convocation

VALEDICTORY SPEECH FOR SESSION 4, 25TH IIUM CONVOCATION, 2009.

Honourable Dato’ Saifuddin Abdullah, Deputy Minister, Ministry of Higher Education
And Honourable Datin Norlin Shamsul Bahri,
Honourable Prof. Dato’ Sri Dr. Syed Arabi Idid,
Rector of International Islamic University Malaysia
Honourable Prof. Dato’ Dr. Md Tahir Azhar,
Chairman of IIUM 25th Convocation
Honourable IIUM Majlis Members and Board of Governers,
IIUM Senate Members
Representatives of Institute of Higher Learning
Honourable Guests and Companies Representatives,
Staff and Graduands of 25th International Islamic University Malaysia Convocation
Members of Media / Ladies and Gentleman

Assalamu Alaykum wrt. wbk.
Selamat Datang, Ahlan wa Sahlan, Welcome to IIUM's 25th Convocation.

It is a pleasure for me to be here today, a day that does not mark the end, but rather the beginning - a commencement of another chapter in our lives. Fellow graduates, we shared the same memories of running down the hallways, the chaos of registration, late nights studying and rushing to classes. At this point, let us ponder upon how much this university has changed our lives.

Distinguished guests and Fellow graduates,
This year’s convocation theme, “The dynamic role of IIUM graduates in realizing IIUM’s vision and mission in facing global challenges”, made me think and ask myself, to what extent have we changed and improved our lives? And to what extent has this university helped us to incorporate the Islamic values in our lives; values to live by, and values to help us face the global challenges.

My answer to my first question, my dear friends, is that we should always be ready to learn and adapt ourselves to new challenges. And for my second question, my fellow friends, is that the university has succeeded in its vision to become a leading international centre of education which produces not only all rounder graduates, but also khalifahs of Allah who have sound Islamic values. Alhamdulillah, I believe that all of us have gone through some memorable experiences and life-lessons that have molded and groomed us to be the all rounder and capable graduates that we are today.

Fellow graduates, our university has truly opened up our eyes to realize Islam as the way of life, and as values to live by to help us face the challenges in the real world, the world of struggle and risks which are both uncertain and challenging.

Yang Berbahagia, please allow me to continue my speech in the Arabic.
(refer attachment)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Some of us have already entered the working world and work as accountants, nurses or teachers. And for us who graduated from the Institute of Education, were posted to rural schools all over Malaysia including Sabah and Sarawak to become the disseminators of knowledge. I am proud to say that, we are all the IIUM’s ambassadors. I hope we can utilize our knowledge learnt in IIUM for the betterment of the ummah; the hectic lives and the risks ahead will not become the hurdles to achieve a great life.

Fellow Graduates,
I would like to thank the Bahagian Pendidikan Guru, Institut Perguruan Perempuan Melayu Melaka, and the Institute of Education, IIUM for giving me and my fellow friends the opportunity to undergo the TESL Twinning programme. The few years in this university brought about everything we wanted in life. We learnt so much and craved for more. It was great to know and make friends with people from all walks of life and we enjoyed every program held. We missed dearly the lectures and interaction with the staff of this university. Our experience in IIUM brought out the best in us. We are the proud graduates of IIUM.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
In this dignified hall, there are two special people to whom I owe my thanks and gratitude. If it were not for them, I probably would not be here giving this speech. The two are my parents. Encik Mohamad Yusoff Mat and Puan Maznah Ibrahim. They are the ones who insisted that I join this university. I was very reluctant to become a teacher, but they were very sure and confident that I can become a good teacher and contribute to society by teaching. And now, I’m glad that I listened to their advice.

My father, Encik Mohamad Yusoff, who quit school early, once studied by himself by borrowing books from friends, and with only that, he managed to obtain good grades for the SPM. He proved to me that, learning never stops and age is not a barrier to education. Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave. I will always admire his motivation and conviction.
My mother, Puan Maznah, provided me with tenderness and love. She taught me about sincerity. Her life experiences had also taught me about the hardships, and that the world can sometimes be cruel. She always motivates me to be stronger and to never give up. She has always said that Allah knows what is best for us. So, never ever give up hope.

Therefore, to be able to face the challenges, I shall push myself to the limit and realize my own potentials as khalifah. Truly, parents are the khalifahs entrusted by Allah to guide and teach their children. I want my future students and children to see me as I see my parents Thank you Allah for my mother and father. Terima kasih ayah, mak. Kasihmu ku junjung hingga akhir hayat ku. Dikaulah ratu hatiku.

Fellow graduates,
We also should not forget to thank our amazing lecturers; all of whom have worked so hard to help us become top-notch students. They have helped us during our ups and downs in these few years of studying. Thank you for your time and effort in nurturing us and in giving us the best education.

Finally, we must not forget our fellow friends who have accompanied us all these years; those who would wait for us in times of desperation and those who would be there for us when we needed support. We will miss their laughter and their silly jokes. Thank you friends for being the marvelous comrades during those years. And thank you all … for making IIUM a truly unique university.

Fellow graduates, I conclude my speech with a pantun in Bahasa Melayu,

Seantero dunia kita berkawan,
Menuntut ilmu tidak berakhiran,
Sama-samalah kita berilmu pengetahuan,
Semoga berjaya wahai graduan.

Thank you.

Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahiwabarakatuh

p/s: I do not enclose my arabic text in here.. may be later.. :D