It was like tonnes of words and topics hammered my head in these couple of days. I was terribly insane out here, doing the thinking on things I bothered which sometimes I should just ignore them.
Dwelling on and on.. on those things, I think I have got to make a list so that I will not turn into a psychopath. Haha.
I still remember the night I waited so long for the bus from Kuantan to arrive and fetch me and jojo at the Hentian Kuala Terengganu. It was 2 nights ago and we were waiting until 12 midnight for it to come. When it arrived, the bus driver was shocked to know that we were waiting for the bus and he shockingly asked us where did we buy the ticket. Of course we bought at the Transnational Ticket Counter back in Langgar, Kota Bharu. Ergh! Anyhow, thank god those seats were still left empty, and the other bus driver innocently said, “here the empty seat”.. daaaa, it's ours. Of course we will sit on it. Haha... I seem like a girl with a total madness, aite? Nahh.. we dont really give a damn on what happened at that moment because we were pretty much tired of waiting.. 1 hour and a half in the cold dark night was not a pleasant moment to cherish on.
Speaking of waiting, we discussed what would appear on tomorrow's newspaper if we died. Haha. It should be “two chicks died of bored”..or “dua gadis mati kebosanan”.. haha.. we liked it. Terlalu bosan hingga membawa kepada kematian. Too bored that caused us to die. How ridiculous and very, very insane talk.
While waiting earlier, at that time we hang out at McD's, spekmataku, jojo a.k.a shumuera and I were in very deep conversation on how we perceived people.
Indah: you know what, if I were given a piece of paper with a question; “why do you like him/her? State your reason” for example, I cannot even answer that. Because I like/love you for u. what else should be the reason? If I said, I love you because you wear good clothes, does it means I don't when you were not wearing one?
Spekmataku: well, it's pretty much of how you look in the people. The reason why on earth you come to like this person. You cannot just like him. You will need to see the things he did hat what makes he is. It's the reason that makes you look deeper into that person. The way he walks, he talks, he replies and the way he carries himself. It count.
Indah: well, I agree with you. No doubt we should not abandon those particulars, but to state those reasons as the fundamental core of why I like him, is not quite alright. Those reasons should be calculated in and somehow, they make him. I still couldnt put forward the reason to love or to like or even to be friend with someone. Perhaps, I did reason it out but I come to look at him as one; himself.
Spekmataku: yeap. Sure you are. But mostly, it is sure good when someone says something about you. It showed that he cares, he put you as the major topic to think of. Everything you do did mean something in your relationship. You, as a whole.
Shuumuera: well, it seems you two shared a really interesting idea here. Hehe. So, indah I think you should find someone who you can rely on because you're fragile alright. You need a man who is matured enough to carry your relationship.
Indah: I bet it is. I am so tired to put a strong face. To take a lead and to appear superb; well, I am not that good I guess. I am really tired of putting that strong face, as if I need to do everything on my own, as if I dont need no one to rely on. Oh god, am I sick? Hahaha
shuuemura : haha. Nahh. You're cool, alright. You're great, I know. So, what about your criteria for your perfect match, spekmataku?
Indah: yeah. I bet someone who can complete you?
Spekmataku: hurm.. I .. well,... I cant find the word yet.. hurm..
Spekmataku : I want and I bet I need to find someone who can complete …. or who can end my words. Who wants to understand me and who can understand me. I'm tired of trying to understand him but did not get that from him.
Indah: well, may be you havent tried enough?
Spekmataku: I have. I think I had. Hurm.. but seriously I looked for a guy who is willing to understand me, who will be able to share and talk on the same topic, at the same level of understanding. The guy who eventually be able to end my word. …
Indah: well, insyaAllah. You're right when you say so since you are very good listener. And when you started to talk, you also need a soulmate/friend to do the same to you also..
okay that's all for today.. InsyaAllah, things will be easier and better for us and you. I wrote this because I think I should share it with the world on the things we girls dwell on, which are not only some stupid and naïve gossips around the clock. Hehe ^__^