This years ‘ IIUM 25th convocation, the silver jubilee, marked the end of our studying years as undergraduates. We never think that it would be so fast, 6 years together, 50 of us, we never get bored with one and another.
And for me, the wonderful memories spent together can never be forgotten and will always be cherished. I can see myself changed, personality wise and of course, physically. Hehe. Well, I was pretty much of a rebellion back then. If there’s something wrong, I would blatantly speak out my mind without hesitation, without considering how people would feel or react to my action. Sometimes, I did regret for what I do and end up crying on and on without realizing why. I just felt like crying. I was unable to see or understand myself… but now I know why… because I don’t love myself. Back then, I felt that people should appreciate and love me… but I forgot to love myself.
Not only friends, my lecturers also did notice my misbehaviors. After I played the role of Project Manager for TCW- Tesl Community Weekend, (the Intervarsity Theatre Competition which comprises our girls’ brain and action to come out with several activities besides theatre) only then, I can see Allah tested me with my patience. I was condemned so hard by all of my friends although the programme was a success. Most of them never had the experience of how a programme runs and cannot bear with my style of leadership. Well, I cannot say I am a leader type but more of a consultant. I was so down that I taught of quitting my TESL studies. My parents also suggest so, well, sarcastically. Of course my rational and my parents sarcasm of me being low self esteem and motivation failure turns me on, to react the other way around, to give me a magic strength to be redha of what happened.
Thank god, Dr. Ariffin Mamat and all representative lecturers from other university praised me for what I had come out and done. He, personally, asked me to train our junior to held such a programme. The TCW programme was still a success until now, Dr. Suhaila is still proud of it. Its nature and its cooperation it brought us apart and closer in the same time. TCW is a magical programme that brought into the magical experience.
Talking about patience, it sure had changed me a lot. And sometimes I felt so lazy to argue on things that are not necessary to fight for. It also taught me about sacrifice; not blindly sacrifice what I am and what I had, but rather on being reasonable and considerate. And yes, I learnt how to think of others, as the same as I think of me. Patience increases my rationale and empathy. Thanks Allah for the challenges. You made me become stronger each day, insyaAllah. ^__^