dear love..

dear love,

my heart is craving for you.
you sounds so pure,
so admirable, so fresh.
you shall give the spirit to my soul to live on.

dear love,

you come in a variety of range.
and now my heart is dying for the soulmate's.
i need to find the one whom can complete me,
one who owns you
and is willing to share you with me.

dear love,

i am looking for you everywhere,
but i had never found you yet.
perhaps, i did not look hard enough,
may be, i am not searching for you,
at the right time, at the right place
and for the right person.

right that does not mean perfect,
but one who can accept me as who i am,
me who has more weaknesses than strength,
and is ready to explore
for the mystery ahead with me..

hurm..
perhaps i should pray more to Allah,
to grant these love wishes..

and perhaps,
i just need to keep on trying..

^_^

p/s: i'm attending the First Steps Teaching English course in Pengkalan Chepa. and there was a man that caught my eyes, but he shows no interest in me. ehehe. sometimes i do feel that i should not aim for him,but some parts of me, being so optimistic, urge me to try to hit on him.

haha. but really, i'm not really into him. he just not a hit. not for me because i think he's already has someone. takkan la xde org lg. huhu..

well, actually,he is not really my taste. hate the part that says, "why not", "at least you try".. because i dont know my taste. fair and has beautiful hands. and has good personality and character. that's it. haha. i may be am bold and loud, but i dare not hit on somebody. i am afraid of the rejection. like any other girls would feel. huhu

TESLians' Convo - Topic 1

This years ‘ IIUM 25th convocation, the silver jubilee, marked the end of our studying years as undergraduates. We never think that it would be so fast, 6 years together, 50 of us, we never get bored with one and another.

And for me, the wonderful memories spent together can never be forgotten and will always be cherished. I can see myself changed, personality wise and of course, physically. Hehe. Well, I was pretty much of a rebellion back then. If there’s something wrong, I would blatantly speak out my mind without hesitation, without considering how people would feel or react to my action. Sometimes, I did regret for what I do and end up crying on and on without realizing why. I just felt like crying. I was unable to see or understand myself… but now I know why… because I don’t love myself. Back then, I felt that people should appreciate and love me… but I forgot to love myself.

Not only friends, my lecturers also did notice my misbehaviors. After I played the role of Project Manager for TCW- Tesl Community Weekend, (the Intervarsity Theatre Competition which comprises our girls’ brain and action to come out with several activities besides theatre) only then, I can see Allah tested me with my patience. I was condemned so hard by all of my friends although the programme was a success. Most of them never had the experience of how a programme runs and cannot bear with my style of leadership. Well, I cannot say I am a leader type but more of a consultant. I was so down that I taught of quitting my TESL studies. My parents also suggest so, well, sarcastically. Of course my rational and my parents sarcasm of me being low self esteem and motivation failure turns me on, to react the other way around, to give me a magic strength to be redha of what happened.

Thank god, Dr. Ariffin Mamat and all representative lecturers from other university praised me for what I had come out and done. He, personally, asked me to train our junior to held such a programme. The TCW programme was still a success until now, Dr. Suhaila is still proud of it. Its nature and its cooperation it brought us apart and closer in the same time. TCW is a magical programme that brought into the magical experience.

Talking about patience, it sure had changed me a lot. And sometimes I felt so lazy to argue on things that are not necessary to fight for. It also taught me about sacrifice; not blindly sacrifice what I am and what I had, but rather on being reasonable and considerate. And yes, I learnt how to think of others, as the same as I think of me. Patience increases my rationale and empathy. Thanks Allah for the challenges. You made me become stronger each day, insyaAllah. ^__^

sudah lama tidak update

di sini, aku saje mau letak the senarai semak untuk aku refer.
ye la.. aku perlu update
tahun ini merupakan tahun yang sibuk dan membawaku kpd perubahan yang agak besar..

1. practicum ends
2. mula keje
3. masalah kuaters
4. puasa + raya
5. konvo.. yey!
6. makan pompuan? jadi rutin?

okehh.. t aku cte ek.. hehe.. sibuk pye pasal..
ni nk kne bawak adik aku makan roti cotek.. kalo nk tau apa itu roti cotek, meh datang kelantan. hihi ^___^

salam..

ahhh.. hati ku remuk!

have a look at these lyrics. and listen to the song.
perhaps u can sing along to this song.

i feel kinda down today. i'll wite much more later.
hope u guys enjoy the song..
it's the best indicator of how i feel right now.

p/s: thx AE for the song~~ i'm really down..

aku di SK Laloh, Kuala Krai

ini adalah update pantas kerana aku ada kelas pukul 11.15...

aku rasa sangat best dan senang di sekolah ini, cuma sedih kerana jauh dari rumah. bila dipikir2 balik, aku seharusnya bersyukur kerana ramai lagi kawan2 aku nun di sabah yang sangatlah berjauhan dari rumah dan mengajar di negeri orang semestinya. kali ini, giliran anak2 johor di hantar ke Sabah dan seorang terpisah ke Sarawak di atas sebab mengikut suami. dikatakan mengikut suami, tapi tetap di tempatkan di kawasan yang amat jauh, ye lah.. Sarawak kan luas..

hurm..

aku di sini sebagai seorang guru english. orang kata, first posting, supposedly mengajar dalam 3 to 5 years in the same school. believe me, mengajar itu Okay sebab anak2 didik semuanya berpotensi dan minta dalam pelajaran, tapi kes aku kena duduk kuaters yang bercampur2 dan ramai ... menggusarkan aku. tapi aku syukur, stakat ni, semua housemates boleh dibawa berbincang dan agak bersatu pendapat. setakat ni lah..

hihi..

kay..
nanti ticer nisa update lagi. dari tadi cari wireless, dekat bilik guru tak dapat tapi bila aku try di pejabat sambil fotostat, dapat pulak. hihi. alhamdulillah.. ada juga wireless free. tapi tulah.. bila update, aku type guna bahasa melayu.. hehehe... tu lah.. nasib baik tak guna bahasa kelantan. hurmm...

hari tu ada seorang budak cakap, ticer cakap bahasa bandar.. wkakaka.. ye la, bila mengajar, aku guna bahasa melayu standard together with English, because pupils here did not even understand a simple command.. like turn on the fan and the lights unless I pointed to the fan and lights.

hurmm....
kay lah. it's almost time. daaaaaaaa ^_____^

sedikit update..

ini cerita amad. iye. adik aku yang sudah berumur 7 tahun. tapi penuh magik. haha

cerita 1

dialog bersama amad semasa my mom sedang membakar ikan.

amad : nok buh lalat dalam api ni mok..
ejak: amad! lalat tu cemar tu ...
amad : basuh doh..

huhu. lalat tu dah siap basuh sebab lalat tu kotor. ape daaa...

cerita 2

dialog semasa di klinik

aku : amad nok wak gapo kertas-kertas tu?
amad : amad ado rancangan. nati tengok la

amad lipat 4 keping kertas ke dalam kedua-dua belah poket seluarnya secara berpasangan..
sesampai di rumah..

aku: amad, mano ketas hok amad ado rancangan sakni?
amad: uhh.. tok jadi rancangan takdi. nok keno cari idea lain.

fuhh
tak tahan vocab budak ni.

..::update pantas ::..

date : 10 july 2009

subejct : English

time: 1105 - 1205 noon

venue : 5 Arif, SK Jasin, Melaka

for this last period, I used the time to do a language game with my pupils. we used 2 soft and big dices. when the dices were thrown and counted, the person who got the counting numbers (B) needed to describe about the person who threw the dices (A). They needed to make correct sentences and must only tell the truth. if their sentences were wrong, they needed to make new ones. haha. we had great fun! absolutely...

hurm.. and the time went by. I signalled the monitor to ask the others to stand up, marking the end of the period. then, the monitor called, THANK YOU, TEACHER!. When i was about to get out of the class, they made my heart sank. they shocked by by singing the LASKAR PELANGI song i posted before.

Guruku tersayang... guru tercinta..

i dont know how to react. whether to cry.. or to sing along. both seems unpractical. so, i smiled. big long smile and for sure deep inside, i HEART them.. hehe. they are so ROMANTIC and i LOVE SURPRISES. no need to presents or so, just a simple silent gesture of LOVE, APPRECIATION and RESPECT will do. They're the best!

so much so, they are all surprised when i said that i am from Kelantan. they said i dont sound like one! haha. heyy.. i'm a proud kelantanese.. ^_^

hurm.. furthermore, I received the news that i was posted to my homestate, Kelantan. hopefully, i'll get near or at my hometown's primary school. insyaALLAh.

owh, by the way, i am planning to hit Kuantan again or perhaps the Pengkalan Balok for camping this weekend. i really need the soothing sound of waves and beach serenity. anyone want to join? i'll be going with my brother, ejak and will be meeting my two friends in Kuantan. hehe..

ok. i gotta go. i need to go to TESCO now and fetch my Amad at school. ^-^

my best buffday wishes...

1.
happy bestest day, indah.

hope your dream will come true

and you'll find your soulmate soon
;-)
from : spekmataku, 26 April 2008


2.
Epi besday kamu.may God grant all your wishes.
be happy owez.
da 24, tamo tdey2 k.
wuv u.
from : kerepekcomott, 26 April 2009


3.
wishing you the best of life and moment throughout your life,
May Allah bless and
cepat2 dapat jodoh
ameen
happy 24th buffday and
welcome to the club iye.
from: spekmataku, 26 April 2009


4.
Happy Birthday sa :-)
Bilo nak ado bf?
umur makin naik kna nikohs dohs join yaa
:-)
from: tengku ezulia (my princess) 26 April 2009


my comment:

insyaAllah.
i can never lose hope
may your prayers be heard
and mine too
;-)

luv you

listen to this nickelback track,
the lyrics poached my heart.
thanks spekmataku for the dedication
i really enjoyed it
\(^__^)v

GOTTA BE SOMEBODY
s.o.m.e.d.a.y